Translator: HillarybyHillary
Editor: Eric Rasputin
Quality Check: Isalee
First Published on Chaleuria
Gao Zhun started to rub his fingers. There seemed to be a layer of powder on his fingertips, similar to a woman’s foundation. He stared at it for a while but couldn’t decipher what it was so he decided to shower and clear his mind. When he stepped out of the bathroom, his suitcase had already been unpacked, and it now stood awkwardly by the wall again. Zou Yun was lying in bed as he casually said, “I’m turning the lights off.”
The room dimmed as Gao Zhun got in bed. The moment he lay down, Zou Yun turned around and gently caressed his chin. Gao Zhun grabbed his hand, but Zou Yun mounted him before he could push the hand away. Although they were just kissing and petting — nothing they hadn’t done before — Gao Zhun couldn’t stand it anymore. He fought back in frustration as a silent struggle ensued. Eventually, he managed to disentangle himself from the other man with one hard push, then swiftly turned his back to him.
Zou Yun sat up. With his back to the other man, Gao Zhun wasn’t sure whether it was impatience or anger, but Zou Yun just sat there huffing for a while. All of a sudden, he rolled over and straddled Gao Zhun. He grabbed Gao Zhun’s face and forced the other man to look up at him. The curtains were drawn, and the lights were off, so there shouldn’t have been any light in the room. However, out of nowhere, a faint glow illuminated Zou Yun’s face, allowing Gao Zhun to clearly see the younger man.
“Do you have to go?” Zou Yun’s lips twitched as he asked; his features twisted together in a fierce expression.
Gao Zhun nodded. Almost instantly, Zou Yun’s hands slipped from his chin down to his neck, loosely gripping it as he asked again, “Have you thought this through? Are you really leaving?”
Gao Zhun was about to nod again when he realized he couldn’t actually move his head. With his hands around Gao Zhun’s throat, Zou Yun squeezed, then pressed his thumb against Gao Zhun’s Adam’s apple. The man above him could easily crush him with minimal effort. Fear washed through Gao Zhun as he frantically kicked his legs, while both his hands gripped Zou Yun’s wrists. He wanted to speak up but all that came out were helpless gasps.
Zou Yun’s grip grew stronger and stronger as the feeling of being suffocated overwhelmed Gao Zhun. He struggled with all his might, but it was useless since he couldn’t call out for help — only the sharp creaks of the old bed and mattress resounded. But in the dead of night, that noise only sounded like the cry of insects.
Due to the lack of oxygen, his vision started to blur as his consciousness started to fade. He groaned as he felt something wet and cold land on his face. With his heartbeat echoing in his eardrums, he could vaguely hear Zou Yun sobbing as the tears fell on his face.
Gao Zhun forced himself to look up as he saw Zou Yun’s distorted crying face. His features were so miserable and tragic that it seemed almost surreal. Out of nowhere, music could be heard:
Afraid this tragedy would repeat itself,
It’s my fated destiny,
The more beautiful it is,
The more I can’t touch it…
Gao Zhun frowned. Beneath the depressing lyrics, he could hear a phone buzzing and vibrating. It didn’t take him long to realize that it was Zou Yun’s. He must have changed his ringtone while smoking and waiting for Gao Zhun to come home.
What is the point in cherishing you again,
Don’t tell me that if I hold you tight this time, I will not lose you.
The pain started to fade as his whole body felt like it was floating up — his fingers weakened, his mouth fell open, and his vision frosted over like a rain-splattered glass window. He could vaguely see a person crying in front of him. However, he couldn’t tell who it was and didn’t know whether the person was good or bad. Gao Zhun felt an urge to abandon this painful and tormented body; he wanted to peel away his skin and leave this scarred body behind. But just as he was about to, he reached out and wiped the tears on that wet face.
The grip on his neck suddenly loosened as biting cold air filled his lungs and a piercing pain scorched down his throat. The heavy feeling of hypoxia hit him like a truck. Gao Zhun clutched his throat and coughed violently. Zou Yun climbed off him and sat at the edge of the bed, looking defeated. With his head in his hands, he hunched forward and said, “Go. Get lost!”
The phone was still ringing in the background:
There’s no fate between us,
Your heart, eyes, mouth, and ears, I can’t touch them…
Gao Zhun’s body was like a lone tree on a hilltop, swaying left and right in the breeze. He sat up, visibly shaking before he got off the bed on wobbly legs, and quickly got dressed. Behind him, Zou Yun mumbled, “Take it.” He pointed at the white sneakers by the television cabinet, “Take everything and leave nothing behind.”
Gao Zhun left with one hand dragging his suitcase and the other clutching his sneakers. There wasn’t a trace of reluctance in him, nor was there any resentment or fear. It was over — this absurd nightmarish period of his life was finally over. It wasn’t until he walked past the Jeep downstairs did he feel the dry burn in his throat. He lit a cigarette and ignored the pain as he tried to get rid of the weird humming in his ears. It was as if he could somehow hear Zou Yun’s lousy Cantonese as he sang:
Let this puff of smoke rise, as my body sinks lower,
How much I wanted to get closer and closer…
To Gao Zhun, feelings like hopelessness and despair were one and the same. Even as he took a taxi to Fang Chi’s house and stood in front of the door that had been closed to him for two months, Gao Zhun could still hear Zou Yun’s singing in his ears:
I’m still waiting for you to say I’m wrong,
Or that I can’t possibly know everything,
When I can’t open my eyes to face my own destiny,
Then the skies will be filled with thick and dense clouds…
The doorbell only rang once before the door was yanked open. Fang Chi stood on the other side of the door in his pajamas as if he expected Gao Zhun’s arrival. Fang Chi took the suitcase from him without saying a word as his other hand reached out to take the sneakers.
Gao Zhun went straight to the bedroom simply because he was too tired and in too much pain. But the moment he saw the bed that Fang Chi had just been lying on, his mind raced back to the numerous nights they spent entangled in that bed. Gao Zhun’s breaths quickened as the memories flooded his mind. Without a second thought, he took off his belt and pants and reached into his underwear. A deep moan tore through his throat as he jerked off in short, fast movements whilst staring hungrily at the messy sheets and the pulled-back duvet.
Fang Chi came in from behind and instantly froze. His eyes widened in surprise as he took in the obscene image in front of him. “What are you doing?” he exclaimed.
***
The first thing Gao Zhun felt when he opened his eyes was the sharp pain around his neck. He carefully turned his head to the side and came face to face with a sleeping Fang Chi lying on his stomach with his hair in a tousled mess, looking like a child. The morning light shone through a gap between the curtains onto his light brown eyelashes. Gao Zhun had a sudden urge to touch it. He stretched out his hand, then reluctantly lowered it again before moving to get out of bed instead. There was an uncomfortable feeling in his ass, a throbbing pain of sorts. It seems they had been a little too rough last night.
Gao Zhun lifted the duvet and was just about to swing his legs off the side of the bed when he felt Fang Chi’s arms wrap around his waist from behind. The embrace pulled him back as Fang Chi gently pressed him into the bed. Gao Zhun lowered his head and averted his now reddened eyes. “Let me take a…”
Before he could finish, Fang Chi shut him up with a kiss. An intense kiss from his lips to his cheeks, then to his chin, and finally his bruised neck. From up to down, left to right, the kiss lingered on to the point that it no longer seemed like any other kiss but instead a show of intense, endearing love. “Stop making my heart long for you,” said Fang Chi in an erotic manner.
Gao Zhun wanted to say something when he felt something hard push up against his thigh then slowly grind and rub against him. “No,” he said, trying to curl up his knees. “We did it too much last night…”
Without making a sound, Fang Chi pushed himself up and leaned over Gao Zhun. “I must’ve gone crazy… All I can think about are those nasty things,” Fang Chi whispered in a low voice, before lightly nibbling on Gao Zhun’s ears. “I want to f*** you all day long and just stay inside you and never pull out again…”
The overly expressive words that poured out of Fang Chi’s lips were basically like poison to Gao Zhun, and yet he swallowed it willingly. “I… I don’t have anything left in me. Can I blow you instead?”
Gao Zhun trembled as he peeked up at Fang Chi through lowered eyelashes. Although he desperately wanted to please the other man, he didn’t know what to do as he felt rather sore down there. Fang Chi took hold of Gao Zhun’s knee in one hand and folded it up to his chest. He then reached down, caressing his body as he went until he reached his ass and found Gao Zhun’s hand blocking his swollen opening.
Fang Chi eagerly touched and rubbed his lover as their foreheads pressed together. However, Gao Zhun stubbornly refused to move his hands away. After trying in vain to coax Gao Zhun, Fang Chi simply grabbed his hardened length and attempted to squeeze himself between the fingers blocking that tempting entrance. Gao Zhun’s face reddened as he couldn’t believe the other man’s persistence. Yet the more Gao Zhun looked at him with his flushed face and bashful expression, the more Fang Chi wanted to devour him. Taking his leaking c*** in hand, Fang Chi rubbed shamelessly at any and every possible gap between those stubborn fingers. Before long, the backs of Gao Zhun’s hands were soaked in the other man’s fluids as his slippery and sticky fingers started to weaken. Fang Chi took advantage of that moment and found an opening between his middle and ring finger. In the blink of an eye, he surged forward and pushed himself in between that small opening.
“No…” Gao Zhun moaned as he used his slick hand to push Fang Chi’s abdomen, but it was of no use; Fang Chi had already pushed in. Although it was just the tip and didn’t exactly hurt, Gao Zhun had a pitiful look on his face. Fang Chi wanted to get rid of that look and please the other man, so he wrapped his fist around Gao Zhun’s sensitive length and started jerking him off.
It wasn’t clear whether Gao Zhun was simply over-sensitive or if he had been f***ed too fiercely, but a loud cry ripped through his throat as his ass clenched down hard. The sudden force actually pushed Fang Chi out of his ass. At the same time, Fang Chi felt Gao Zhun clench around him. The force was so strong that he felt like he had been struck by lightning as he emptied himself in that tight passage and all over the sheets.
Gao Zhun touched his sensitive and soaking lower half. After sleeping around for the last month or two, he had experienced firsthand how great it felt to have someone come inside him. Gao Zhun trembled at the memory. Fang Chi pulled back the duvet and looked down at the mess they made. With all that they had done the night before, he didn’t shoot much. There was only a small wet patch on the sheets, about the size of his palm. Still coming down from his climax, he panted as he leaned in to kiss Gao Zhun. Now fully satiated and relaxed, Gao Zhun spread open his legs and hugged him back lazily.
This kiss was very long. It was the kind of kiss that didn’t seem to have any purpose apart from merely enjoying each other’s lips. Gao Zhun enjoyed this moment with a touch of longing. But the more emotional he felt, the more fear he felt as well — a fear that Fang Chi was ambiguously playing with him again. The sloppy sound of their open-mouthed kiss and the slick saliva between their lips tasted so sweet on his tongue, but the moment it reached his throat, it left a bitter taste. Suddenly, he felt a slick pressure at his swollen entrance pushing twice, and with a pop, he was penetrated again.
“Ah, ah…” Gao Zhun cried out and twisted away in a panic. But this time, he was held down by his waist as Fang Chi shoved deep inside him. “You… Didn’t you just…”
Fang Chi started to move his hips. Although they were in a relatively normal missionary position with no distinctive features, Gao Zhun twisted and moaned as if he was about to climax. On the other hand, Fang Chi tightened his grip as if he was afraid that the other man would run away or disappear. Fang Chi looped his arms under Gao Zhun’s armpits and pressed down on his chest, holding him firmly in place. The latter struggled for a while before realizing it was pointless to even try. Instead, he widened his legs and allowed the man above him to continue his relentless pursuit, screwing him deeper and deeper into the mattress.
By the end, Gao Zhun seemed to be actually crying. It was most likely from the tenderness of his overstimulated body, but each cry was louder than the last. Fang Chi was like any other straight man who only knew reckless power. He had no skill, nor did he understand the importance of giving and taking or the pleasure of holding back. He simply relied on his enthusiasm and muscular waist to bring Gao Zhun to another orgasm. But Gao Zhun really had nothing left in him. Instead, his stomach glistened with the clear liquid of his urine. He had climaxed, but it was a prostate orgasm.
Fang Chi still hadn’t enjoyed himself enough even after all that. Gao Zhun endured as much as he could, but he was screwed raw and stretched to the point that he felt his ass wouldn’t be able to close up anymore. With each thrust, his toes curled as he begged, “My ass… my ass can’t take it anymore… Just come, please!”
As if on command, Fang Chi came with a vicious roar. Like all those wild nights before, he twitched and shook above him as he rode out his orgasm. He then leaned down to suck on Gao Zhun’s sweaty cheeks. Gao Zhun shook along with him as the aftershocks coursed through their bodies before they slumped down together like dead weight.