Translator: HillarybyHillary
Editor: Eric Rasputin
Quality Check: Isalee
First Published on Chaleuria
After filming ended, they were split into two groups to return to the hotel respectively. In one car, Qin Xin-er half-joked as she used the opportunity to ask Chen Hsin out. Unexpectedly, Chen Hsin agreed. They made plans to go to the KTV lounge opposite the hotel and booked a small private room for just the two of them. As they sat next to each other on the plush sofa, they watched the waiter bring in tray after tray of beers. All the bottles were opened at once and neatly arranged in three rows in front of them.
Qin Xin-er leaned into Chen Hsin and grabbed his wrist in an overly familiar gesture, then whispered, “What do you want to sing?”
“You go ahead.” Chen Hsin grabbed the beers and started to drink by himself, seemingly uninterested in her yet he didn’t seem to mind the intimacy of their closeness. Qin Xin-er didn’t mind either and started to sing by herself. She was clearly a good singer and had already released a few albums in her earlier years. Her singing style was quite unique as she sang Lana Del Rey’s “Young and Beautiful1.” After finishing her song, she raised her beer to Chen Hsin and said, “This project is quickly coming to an end. I look forward to our next collaboration.”
Chen Hsin clinked his bottle with hers, but didn’t say anything as he chugged down the entire bottle in one motion. It seemed he was dead set on getting himself drunk that night. Noticing that something was wrong with his current mood, Qin Xin-er pressed her soft breasts into his arm and said randomly, “That director Chen is so unreasonable, he deleted so many of my scenes.” She invitingly rubbed herself against Chen Hsin’s side while complaining. But instead of paying her any attention, he simply replied with a noncommittal “Mmm.” The lack of response from Chen Hsin instantly irked her. “What’s the meaning of this? If you didn’t want to come out tonight, you could’ve just said so. What’s with this moody attitude?!”
Chen Hsin squinted at her, then turned his gaze to stare intently at the golden liquor in the flask. “I’m heartbroken, okay?”
“You? Heartbroken?” Qin Xin-er couldn’t take his exaggerated moodiness any longer as she sneered, “This flirting technique is so outdated. Besides…” She licked her lips suggestively before continuing to flirt, “You don’t need to try so hard with me…” As she said that, she reached out and traced her hand up his thigh toward the apex between his legs. Even with her blatant attempt to arouse him, Chen Hsin still didn’t respond. His eyes stared blankly at the karaoke screen in front of him as he sat there motionlessly with seven or eight empty bottles scattered around his feet.
“I don’t think I love you…”
Zhang Zhun’s words kept repeating in his mind. The more he wanted to forget Zhang Zhun’s cruel and hurtful words, the more they stubbornly echoed in his ears.
“Everything we’ve felt for each other is just a fantasy bubble that we created in our minds…”
“These unreasonable feelings we feel are just an afterthought of Fang Chi and Gao Zhun’s relationship.”
His tears started to fall freely down his cheeks as Chen Hsin stupidly wiped at them with his sleeves. Qin Xin-er stared at him in shock. It was the first time she saw him as an innocent and aggrieved little boy. She watched his snot and tears cover his entire face as he fiercely forced alcohol down his throat.
“Stop drinking!” she shouted, then stretched out her hand to snatch his beer bottle away. Chen Hsin stubbornly tugged back and forth with her as they struggled for a while. In the end, the bottles knocked over, spilling alcohol everywhere. As Qin Xin-er reflexively twisted her body away to avoid the spilling liquid, Chen Hsin suddenly hugged her. It was the kind of tight hug that would easily make a woman’s heart skip a beat.
She was confused, but she didn’t move a muscle and stayed very still. Normally, she would’ve expected something to happen in a cozy and intimate space such as this private room. But in their current situation, Chen Hsin was simply like an innocent child, nestled in her arms as he openly wailed.
The longer it went on, the louder his cries became, to the point that it sounded like he was howling. As a grown man, this behavior was so embarrassing and pitiful that it was almost incomprehensible. Qin Xin-er impatiently pushed him twice as she tried to disentangle herself from his pitiful embrace, but she could not get free. She eventually gave up — perhaps because every woman had some maternal instincts after all — as she slowly tried to soothe him by gently patting his head. She pushed back the messy hair on his forehead and noticed that it felt slightly warmer than usual due to his excessive drinking. She embraced him like she was embracing a giant dog that was hard to manage and leaned in to listen to him grumble, “I don’t want this to end… I want to keep filming with you for the rest of my life!”
***
Eventually, the film had to come to an end. On the last day of filming, they were scheduled to film in Fang Chi’s home — in that beautiful blue room. Chen Hsin and Zhang Zhun stood side by side in front of the kitchen counter. It was a simple mid-shot, taken from behind. The moment the cameras started rolling, Chen Cheng-Sen stared intently at the viewfinder, finding his perfect shot.
With a knife in hand, Zhang Zhun looked down at the ripe tomatoes on the chopping board and cut into the fruit. The juice and pulp flowed out like fresh blood as Chen Hsin leaned in close to whisper sweet nothings in his ear. On cue, Zhang Zhun chuckled, but it was the kind of laugh that held a hint of annoyance, then pushed Chen Hsin away with his wet and sticky hands. Chen Hsin held the other man tightly in his arms, refusing to let go, and instead leaned in closer. He continued to whisper obscenely in Zhang Zhun’s ears, causing him to blush and pull away.
“Cut!”
Chen Cheng-Sen hadn’t washed his hair in a few days. His hair was greasy as he scratched at it endlessly. “You want to know why we are filming a mid-shot from behind? Because both my lead actors came to work today with swollen eyes! But even with a mid-shot from behind, you both are still unable to deliver. What is with this horrible and stiff acting?!”
The moment the cameras stopped, Chen Hsin and Zhang Zhun moved apart slightly. As if in a daze, Zhang Zhun tightened his clutch on the knife in his hands and didn’t move an inch while Chen Hsin turned around to listen to the director’s instructions. The narrow fruit knife was tilted at a thirty-degree angle, and from the back of the knife, Zhang Zhun could see the reflection of a blurry figure. As they listened on, Chen Hsin suddenly turned around, frightening Zhang Zhun. He slapped the knife down on the chopping board with a loud bang in a moment of surprise.
Chen Hsin obviously realized he had been staring at him and stood there stunned. Zhang Zhun didn’t dare to lift his head. At this moment, all Zhang Zhun needed was a whisper of assurance or a teasing joke; even if it was sarcastic and meaningless, they could quickly go back to normal and continue filming. Zhang Zhun waited — hoping deep down that they could simply go back — he waited for ‘his Chen Hsin’ to take that step, just like all those times before. But this time, Chen Hsin shrunk away.
“Director, can I have five minutes?” Chen Hsin said with reddened eyes as he gritted his teeth and rushed out.
“Huh? Hey!” Chen Cheng-Sen called out, baffled. With the main actor running off, the film crew also stopped everything and started to chat amongst themselves. No one noticed Zhang Zhun’s lonely figure standing there with his trembling back to the crowd during the commotion. He hurriedly turned on the tap and let the noise and water wash away his wayward tears.
Footnotes:
- “Young and Beautiful” by Lana Del Rey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_1aF54DO60