Gu Ze was sitting in a private room in a nightclub. Socializing with the big bosses of other companies had already become part of his work. Two beautiful women sat each to his left and right, one feeding him red wine mouth-to-mouth while the other peeled grapes for him.
Chief Liang was trying something new today, holding a fresh young boy in his arms. The boy looked hardly older than 18 and had some light makeup on his face, snuggling up to Chief Liang’s body in a kittenish manner.
Every so often, he would even let out a flirtatious grumble.
Gu Ze felt disgusted, and as soon as that woman put a grape into his mouth, he spat it out immediately, causing the woman to apologize incessantly in fear.
“Chief Liang, when did you start enjoying playing with boys so much?” Gu Ze teased him while rubbing a woman’s plump breasts.
“I only just recently discovered the wonders of men, and that taste is simply superb. It’s a pity that I haven’t found one with the same taste as Meng Fu yet.” Chief Liang turned to look at Gu Ze with a meaningful look in his eyes.
He’s your enemy anyway. If you’re not playing around with him, why not send him over to me?
“Don’t be greedy now, Chief Liang. Are you thinking of getting my revenge for me too? Wouldn’t that be a blow to my self-esteem?”
He watched the boy kiss Chief Liang’s neck needily, legs coiled up around his body. He couldn’t understand what the difference was between a boy like this and a real woman.
“Who would dare to hurt Chief Gu’s self-esteem?” Chief Liang was constantly gasping from the boy’s kisses, and it affected even his speech. “Aren’t…Aren’t I just looking for a fresh new toy?”
He pushed the boy away and said to Gu Ze in a mysterious tone. “Did you know that Chief Li’s found himself another stubborn one? A college student at that, but boy is Chief Li a vigorous one. He’s tortured the kid to hell and back, and I heard he nearly killed himself just recently!” Chief Liang covered his mouth and laughed as if he were enjoying the show.
The word “suicide” aroused Gu Ze’s curiosity. Did men really get pushed that far just by being toyed with? Or would they become like this boy in front of him, happily playing the female role instead?
“Chief Li’s really amazing, huh?” Gu Ze caught on smoothly. Looking over, he could see that Chief Liang’s hands had already slipped into the boy’s clothes.
“Quite so, isn’t he?” Chief Liang shook his head in pity. “But Mr. Gu, why don’t you give it a try yourself? It’s all about feeling good in the end, and who better to help with than another man? Why don’t you change things up a little?” He raised his eyebrows at Gu Ze. How could he just leave a beauty like Meng Fu untouched? It was truly such a pity.
It was all about feeling good in the end, and that was why he never had a lasting companion by his side despite countless women coming and going.
It was all about feeling good in the end, so why not go to Meng Fu instead? A guy like him would probably feel so humiliated by it that he’d want to kill himself.
When he left, the two women next to him couldn’t hide the loss in their eyes. Still pestered by the boy, Chief Liang didn’t forget to add, “He’s off to play with higher quality goods. How could he have time for you two?”
But while kissing the boy, he thought to himself that once Gu Ze had enough of him, it should be his turn, right?
Hatred was just like a spouting seed. Once born, it would only continue to grow. He may find a sense of compassion in himself from time to time, but under the push of his psyche, Gu Ze would eventually hate Meng Fu more and more.
Occasionally, he would think about He Manyu, think about what their child would look like if he’d been born and grew up, think about everything he’d lost…Then he would hate Meng Fu so much that he’d want nothing more than to tear him to pieces.
He still remembered what Meng Fu looked like when he was stripped naked, especially his fair and beautiful feet. They were larger than a woman’s, yet much more delicate than theirs.
He thought to himself that Meng Fu was different from the boys in these nightclubs after all. And it was because they were different that it would be painful, would it not?
When his car arrived below Meng Fu’s place, he got out and knocked on the door.
Jiang Hui could see that Meng Fu’s complexion was bad, and there was even a bruise on his forehead. “Meng Fu, what happened to you? Did you get into a fight?”
“No, just hit my head on a pole, that’s all.” He smiled and didn’t explain more.
Jiang Hui believed what he said and laughed out loud. “Meng Fu, you didn’t hit your head while you were watching some beautiful girl, did you?” However, he suddenly remembered that Meng Fu even dared to dump a beauty like Xie Zhenzhen, so that shouldn’t be the case. In that case, what he said must be true. “So you really hit your head on a pole? That’s silly.”
As if it were an extremely rare thing, or rather, it was only so unbelievable because it happened to Meng Fu, Jiang Hui would laugh and tell that story to everyone he saw.
Only after word of it had made its rounds did he remember to give Meng Fu a band-aid.
From beginning to end, Meng Fu would only lower his head and smile, yet there was sadness hidden in his eyes.
For a long time, he didn’t see Meng Yi. Usually, he would happily come over to him and call him “Meng-Meng”.
“Where’s Xiao Yi?”
“Oh, a man came and took him away today. I think Xiao Yi called him ‘Brother Ye Ting’? Xiao Yi looked quite happy, so I let him go with the guy. Can’t just have him cooped up in the restaurant all the time, right? He should go out and play if he can. And you too, Meng Fu. You should rest more.” Meng Fu always looked busy whenever Jiang Hui looked at him, working desperately as if he were a robot.
He was relieved to hear that Xiao Yi had gone with Ye Ting. It was good for him to go out and play too. After all, he couldn’t live like him, going through the work week over and over with no end in sight.
“I’m not tired,” he said with a smile.
But everyone gets tired. He was just trying to put up a strong front.
When he returned home in the evening, he only realized that his forehead and shoulders hurt after taking a shower. He had always been squeamish about pain, but he had forgotten all about it since then. He really was tired, so tired that he couldn’t feel the pain anymore, so tired that he unconsciously fell asleep on the desk…
The book laid open on his desk was a math textbook from 7 years ago, when he still had his youth.
Suddenly, his sleep was disturbed by a knock on the door. He subconsciously rushed over to open it and even knocked his feet on a chair, but when he opened the door, he saw a familiar figure, one that haunted his dreams.
Looking at him, Gu Ze’s first words were, “Have you showered?”
He looked up, a slight frown on his forehead, mind filled with suspicions. This man couldn’t possibly want him to strip again, could he? He was almost acting as if he were different from other men.
Gu Ze stared thoughtfully at Meng Fu’s face, staring at his long downturned lashes, seemingly in thought for a long time. He pursed his lips and his thoughts were running amok, but he still made his decision in the end when the word “suicide” came to mind.
What was the harm in trying? He just had to treat him like a woman.
“Go to your room,” he ordered, an imposing tone in his voice.
Meng Fu followed Gu Ze into his room, but he had no idea what Gu Ze was planning to do, so he could only stand there stiffly.
Meng Fu’s single bedroom was really quite small, furnished with just a bed and a desk and yet the entire place already felt cramped. There was barely any standing space.
Worried that Gu Ze would see his books and mock him, he slowly turned around and shut the books, putting them back in place. When he turned around, he saw Gu Ze sitting on the bed, watching him with eyes that looked like they were set ablaze.
“Take off your clothes.”
“Mr. Gu…Why?” Last time was just to make sure, but what was the reason this time?
“Because your punishment just doesn’t feel enough to me. Nothing you do seems to be able to make up for what you did. So, I thought of a different way for you to atone instead.”
What did that mean? Was he planning to hit him? Then why did he have to take off his clothes? Meng Fu tried to guess, but he still couldn’t understand Gu Ze’s intentions.
He took off his clothes obediently and heard Gu Ze stand up again, ordering, “Lie on the bed.”
It felt like his blood was flowing backwards. He looked in disbelief at Gu Ze, at that cold face, and he finally understood Gu Ze’s intentions. Too often would he hear about the things one man would do to another lying down, things like that were way too common in prison.
“Mr. Gu, I don’t understand. You’re not gay, and neither am I. So why?” He tried his best to remain calm, but his lips still trembled slightly.
His feet edged backwards. The door was right behind him. If Gu Ze really meant to do that to him, then he had to escape.
“Can’t you understand something as simple as that?”
Gu Ze closed in on him step after step, and he backed up step after step. When his back reached the door, he could feel its cool surface on his back. His hand had already reached the handle, but Gu Ze fiercely yanked it away.
Just like that, he had locked the door with his big hands.
“I don’t understand…” He prayed that Gu Ze who almost seemed crazed would come back to his senses. He would rather Gu Ze confront him with his cold words rather than end up in this situation as if he’d fallen into a terrible trap.
“Instead of going to a woman, why not come to you instead? I get to put you in pain. Isn’t that even better?” As if he’d thought of something, Gu Zu slowly said, “You’re a virgin aren’t you? You’ve never vented your desires before, right? That’s even better.”
Meng Fu knew that Gu Ze would not change his mind no matter what he said, because it was apparent that Gu Ze had decided that doing this would put him through even more pain.
He quickly turned around to open the door, but as soon as his hand touched the handle, Gu Ze had hit him in the stomach.
“Meng Fu, you better be good. Lay still and atone for your sins.”
Atone for your sins with your body.