Translator: Helliot
Editor: P’Raikantopeni
–
At night, a man lay bare on the bed in a manner unlike the times before.
Gu Ze lay on the bed with his eyes downcast, observing Meng Fu’s expression. “You were the one who asked for this yourself. Will you do it, or not?”
“I, I…I’ll do it.”
His movements were too slow, too unskilled. For Gu Ze, this was simply torture. “Faster.”
…
“Meng Fu,” he called out his name through gritted teeth.
Then, sitting up, he pushed him down onto a kneeling position on the bed.
There were suppressed whimpers.
And cries held back.
All of them lay stuck in his throat, not daring to be vocalized, not willing to.
For fear that it would debase him even further.
A long time passed, so long that he was growing sleepy from exhaustion, yet he would never dare to sleep and had no choice but to suppress it.
Only after the man vented in him did he dare speak. “Mr. Gu, you’ll help the He family, won’t you?”
“Why?”
Why? Didn’t this man promise?
Gu Ze added, “And why should I help the He family? Meng Fu. I thought getting fucked would’ve been shameful enough for you to kill yourself, but I’ve just realized that people like you can’t even understand the concept of shame.”
“Then, what do you want me to do, Mr. Gu?”
“Why are you so obsessed with helping them?” Gu Ze barked at him. Sitting on the bed, he studied Meng Fu’s face closely. “Aren’t I the one you owe the most?”
He had no idea how to answer. A single traffic accident made him a sinner to everyone, as if anything he did would always be wrong.
“I’m sorry. I…”
“Where did the bruises on your body come from? That old woman hit you, didn’t she? And you just let her? Oh but of course, you deserve it, after all.”
Saying that, Gu Ze sat up and was about to leave when his arm was suddenly caught from behind. Looking at Meng Fu’s actions suspiciously, he sat down again and waited for him to speak.
But Meng Fu quickly let go of him and dropped his gaze, seemingly mulling over how he should speak.
“What do you want?”
He could no longer find suitable words to beg him with. And besides, he wasn’t even qualified to beg to begin with. “Nothing…” He shook his head, unable to say it in the end.
–
Half a month later, news of the He family’s bankruptcy was broadcast on television and major news outlets. Images and videos of the He couple’s haggard faces could be seen as reporters crowded around to interview them.
Meng Fu’s guilt began to haunt him again. It’s all your fault, Meng Fu. You made this happen.
He buried his head in work while Jiang Hui regularly reported news about Xie Zhenzhen to him. “Meng Fu, Zhenzhen told me that her husband beat her again. How could her husband treat her like that when she’s pregnant?”
Meng Fu did not respond. He continued working, and Jiang Hui didn’t expect Meng Fu to answer him either. He was just sprinkling salt over Meng Fu’s wounds every so often. That way, he could help Xie Zhenzhen take a little revenge.
All of a sudden, there was a commotion in the restaurant. Someone was shouting out Meng Fu’s name.
“Watch out everyone, there’s a murderer in this restaurant, and his name is Meng Fu!”
The crowd suddenly panicked. Most of the regular customers remembered a good-looking waiter called Meng Fu, and they all whispered amongst themselves, “How could Meng Fu be a murderer? He looks so strait-laced!”
“That’s what they call an elegant rascal! You can’t judge a book by its cover.”
“How is that possible? Is it true?”
“…”
That man continued to shout. Both the supervisor and the staff came over to stop him, but the man was frighteningly strong. He scurried around the restaurant, yelling, “Meng Fu, come out here! Come out here, you murderer!”
Meng Fu stood up and looked at his former cellmate, Zhou Weiguo, with a flabbergasted face.
“Meng Fu! Long time no see.”
Seeing that the two of them knew each other, the staff no longer stopped him. Zhou Weiguo stroked the stubble on his chin. After so long, Meng Fu was still as attractive as before.
“I don’t know you,” Meng Fu said.
“You don’t? We’ve been cellmates for seven years!” Fearing that the people around him would not believe him, he took out a photo, and the person in the photo was none other than Meng Fu, who was out in the prison yard.
As if he had been cast into hell, he watched Zhou Weiguo show off the photo to each and every person. Those who originally did not believe him now turned gazes of indifference, scorn, and mockery at him.
His toes curled up.
He wanted to explain himself, to tell them that he wasn’t a murderer. It was just an accident.
However, after so many years, both Gu Ze and the He couple would drill it into his mind over and over again, calling him a murderer. Even he himself was starting to believe it.
More and more voices joined the discussion. “So he’s really a murderer?”
“Who did he kill?”
“I really couldn’t tell.”
“…”
The tide overwhelmed him. Backing up, Meng Fu accidentally hit a plate with his hand, causing it to crash down into misshapen pieces.
Following that, Zhou Weiguo called out, “He’s feeling guilty! This man killed a woman and her unborn son. How cruel is that?”
“But how could they release a murderer?” A questioning voice asked.
“Accidental murder is still murder!” Zhou Weiguo retorted. “If he had gotten out of his car to save them, then two lives would not have been lost. He hit her with his car, he killed them. He abandoned them on purpose. That’s how dark his heart is! So it wasn’t an accident. He killed them on purpose!”
They were speechless. No one doubted him anymore.
With so many pairs of eyes turned to him in unison, Meng Fu suddenly felt the need to escape from here. He couldn’t bear to have the same thing at that nightclub happen to him again.
“Zhou Weiguo, why are you doing this?” He asked with trembling lips.
“I’m just telling everyone the truth in case you harm anyone else!” Then, he suddenly lowered his voice. “Meng Fu, you know who put me up to this. Didn’t you already know back when you were still working at that nightclub?”
Was it Gu Ze? Is this still not enough? Only because he tried to plead for the He family’s sake, that’s why he got him back for it a thousand times over?
The crowd was in chaos, so the supervisor sent him home for now, telling him to wait for their notice. However, that was just a covert way of telling him that he’d been sacked. Gu Ze did not come that day, and Meng Fu had no desire to know how pleased Gu Ze was by this.
At home, he had his textbook open on the desk, but he couldn’t get into it at all.
–
The next evening, Gu Ze came.
When he saw Meng Fu’s calm face, Gu Ze even thought it was surprising. “You don’t look very upset at all.”
“There’s nothing to be upset about when you’re used to it.”
But how could anyone get used to being publicly condemned as a murderer? How?
“What do you plan on doing now?”
“Find another job.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know.”
Maybe there really was nothing to say between them. Gu Ze had no idea what to ask either, and there was a long pause before he said, “Come here.”
Meng Fu consciously took off his clothes and was about to lie down when Gu Ze suddenly sat on the edge of the bed. He pulled his arm, bringing him to a kneel in front of him.
His face was right in front of Gu Ze’s bulging crotch.
“Mr. Gu, please…no,” he said faintly.
“Why not? You asked for this yourself.”
His intentions were for it to be just that once, and only to help the He family. Now that the He family was bankrupt, why should he still comply with those orders?
“I…I…”
“Unzip it,” Gu Ze ordered.
“I won’t do it,” He plopped down on the ground and made a meek refusal.
“Your unwillingness is just going to please me more, Meng Fu. I want to see you suffer.” Gu Ze said coldly, “Meng Fu, I wasn’t actually your first, wasn’t I?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean what I said, Meng Fu. I’ve underestimated you. How could you be this good at pretending? But that doesn’t matter anymore, as long as I get to watch you suffer.”
He really didn’t understand what Gu Ze meant, but it was true that this man was suspicious of that actually being his first time. How could a man possibly still be a virgin at 25?
But to say he was pretending, he didn’t even know what false pretenses he could have put up.
He remained sitting on the ground, unmoving, but Gu Ze grew impatient. “Hurry it up!”
“No…” He shook his head. It disgusted him. The last time was revolting enough for him.
Gu Ze stood up with anger clear on his face. “Meng Fu, what gives you the qualifications to say ‘no’? What gives someone who should be rotting in prison the qualifications to say ‘no’?”
Meng Fu scooted back little by little. “No…”
Gu Ze crouched down to face Meng Fu and lifted up his chin with his finger. Then, he laughed. “Scared, are you? Good.” His fingers squeezed down tightly onto his chin. “You know you can’t avoid this, right?”
Hatred crept up.
Anger crept up.
His jaw hurt. Meng Fu knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid it, so he could only obey and allow despair to take over his heart more. Gu Ze sat on the edge of the bed, his expression obscured and unclear. The closer his lips came, the more desolate his heart felt. Shutting his eyes, he told himself not to think of anything as he took Gu Ze’s member in and out of his mouth mechanically.
Though his body gained relief, Gu Ze didn’t feel relieved at all inside. Looking at the polite man beneath him, anger rose up little by little. Such a good actor, serves him right for everyone to know he’s a murderer.
Meng Fu was uncomfortably tight. Due to Gu Ze’s violent motions, he wished he could spit out the thing in his mouth, but the large pair of hands shackled his head firmly in place.
There was nowhere to escape.
Suddenly, a hot stream of liquid shot into his mouth, causing his eyes to widen at once. It felt so disgusting that he wanted to vomit.
As soon as Gu Ze backed out, he immediately rushed for a bin and spat it out.
“Is it that disgusting? I thought you were experienced, how are you still turned off by this?” Gu Ze snarked at him.
Wiping his mouth casually, he was hardly able to steady himself after standing up before he was pushed to the bed by Gu Ze. The man’s member had become engorged again at some point in time and was propped up against his hole, towering and eager.
A great sense of pain began to accumulate in a cascade.
Everything suddenly felt meaningless to Meng Fu. Looking at Gu Ze who was well-dressed as usual, he said coolly, “There’s no meaning in life.”
Gu Ze froze for a half second before answering back coldly at him. “That’s right, it’s meaningless, so why don’t you just go and die?”