Translator: Helliot
Editor: P’Raikantopeni
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Time closed in on Meng Fu in an almost oppressive manner. Once it reaches the end, there will be nowhere to run. Once he runs out of options, he would have no choice but to kneel down in front of Gu Ze and beg for his help, giving up his dignity, giving up his life.
Ah, but he had forgotten. In front of Gu Ze, he was already devoid of such concepts.
Meng Fu picked up Meng Yi’s phone and hesitated for a moment before making a call.
“Mr. Gu.”
“Meng Fu.”
“Mr. Gu, can I… see you in person?”
Smoke concealed his eyes, hiding his emotions. Meng Fu, were you not turned off by that kiss? Did you not find it disgusting? His anger, his sadness, and his unspeakable love were repressed inside him.
“What for? Are you offering to strip yourself naked and bend over for me?” The habitual jibes of the past slipped from his mouth.
He regretted it the moment those words left his lips, but it was too late for regrets.
Hand clenching around the phone, his lips quivered. His eyelids fluttered down, covering the desolate glow of the setting sun. “I’ll do it.”
After giving his answer, he hung up and sat down on the bed, empty gaze staring at the setting sun in the distance as it slowly crawled over the horizon, until the final ray of light was completely swallowed up by the ground.
Making sure to avoid wetting his cuts, he took a bath. Without any lubricant, even stretching himself out had become an arduous task. After preparing his body, he stripped naked and lay beneath the covers.
He turned off the lights and lay by himself in the dark room. He shut his eyes, but he felt no apprehension. After dying once, what more was there for him to care about?
He waited, but Gu Ze did not come.
Meng Fu turned over, and the clear and cool silvery moonlight blanketed the room through the window, illuminating his quiet face. It was past midnight. Mr. Gu was most likely not coming home tonight.
So be it, it was better this way.
He had shut his eyes for no more than a second when the door suddenly opened. Then, there was blinding light. The lights from the hallway lit up the room.
He shielded his eyes from the brightness until he acclimated to it before sitting up. Looking at the man at the door, who was enveloped in a cold aura, he called out meekly, “Mr. Gu.”
Blanket sliding down, his shoulder and chest were revealed. The half-obscured allure was intoxicating, a charming temptation.
Gu Ze’s breathing grew ragged. “What did you call me here for?”
He leaned on the door frame, not approaching. Gu Ze knew very well what he would do if he went any closer, even by a step. He would kiss this man and take his body ruthlessly.
“Mr. Gu, I would like to go home. I just need to pay the rent, that’s all.” After a pause, he added, “I’m still alive now, and I have Xiao Yi to take care of. Please, Mr. Gu. I won’t run away.”
I had already chosen to die, so where else can I run?
After a moment of silence, Gu Ze asked with a voice devoid of warmth, “Do you even have money to afford rent?” Did he not give him all his money the moment he chose death? Even though that petty amount was nothing to Gu Ze.
Meng Fu shook his head and went on, “Ye Yan will lend me the money.”
“He does not have the time to take care of you right now,” Gu Ze was straightforward, “He and that nice aunt of yours are still in the middle of their little argument. Not to mention, even if he does agree to lend you the money, do you think your aunt would agree?”
That cruel and greedy aunt of his would rather leech every last penny off him.
“My aunt wouldn’t be that heartless,” he argued feebly. Even he himself did not believe his answer. She knew that Xiao Yi was allergic to pollen, but didn’t she still give him the flowers?
“Hmph.” Gu Ze scoffed. “Don’t be so naive, Meng Fu.”
Suddenly, he shut the door behind him, sinking the room back into darkness with only the faint moonlight remaining. Gu Ze’s voice penetrated the darkness. “What do you still want that run-down apartment for? Why pay rent? Just stay here.”
Turning around, he made to leave.
But the man quickly got up from the bed and scrambled over the floor in a panic to reach Gu Ze, grabbing hold of his wrist through the faint illumination of the moonlight. “Mr. Gu.”
His voice was faint, pleading.
Gu Ze did not move.
His nose was filled with Meng Fu’s scent, just like a drug that drew him in. He gradually clenched his fists to try and suppress these urges.
He turned around to see the man’s body, lit up by the silvery draping of the moon. He must have been in such a hurry that he had forgotten that he was nude.
Noticing Gu Ze’s gaze, Meng Fu finally realized the state of himself and let go of his wrist, curling his pretty toes. “Mr. Gu… I can’t leave Meng Yi without a home.”
Even if it was a run-down apartment, it was his and Meng Yi’s home. He could not find any other place where the rent was as cheap as this one.
Click, the door was shut again.
Turning around to face his back to the door, Gu Ze’s eyes were like a deep pool. “Meng Fu, how did you feel when I kissed you that day?”
Meng Fu was stunned. He could not comprehend why Gu Ze would ask him such a thing. Thinking that his discomfort would please Gu Ze, he answered, “It felt disgusting.”
Gu Ze was pleased when he took his body because it disgusted him, and it hurt him. So, he must be expecting the same thing when he kissed him.
“Heh, disgusting, huh?” Gu Ze snorted. So it disgusted him, just as he expected.
Pretending not to care, he said, “Yes, that’s how it should be.”
Meng Fu breathed a sigh of relief.
Then, Gu Ze spoke, “Come here, open your mouth.”
His relaxed muscles tensed up again. Yes, wasn’t this Gu Ze’s goal to begin with? But he would do anything as long as it pleased him. With soundless steps, he approached Gu Ze.
Their breaths intermingled.
Just like intertwined bodies, entwined with both love and hatred.
Gu Ze lifted Meng Fu’s chin with his finger and lowered his head. When their lips were about to touch, he could see the frown on Meng Fu’s brow. He clearly wanted to push him away, but he tried to act unperturbed.
He did think of kissing him, but he suddenly changed his mind when their lips were about to touch. He let go of his chin. “Meng Fu, kiss me yourself.”
The shut eyes opened and widened with a flash of surprise. But then, the next thought to enter his mind was, Meng Fu, nothing matters anymore.
Craning up his neck, he pressed his lips against Gu Ze’s. Other than Xie Zhenzhen, he had never kissed another person before, and the light peck he shared with her had already been locked away inside his mind along with the torn love letter, wrapped together with a thick veil.
All he did was press his lips to Gu Ze’s doing nothing else beyond that. He could not imagine the disgusting feeling of his tongue intertwining with Gu Ze’s. It was not until he saw the light darken in Gu Ze’s eyes that he probed Gu Ze’s lips initiatively with his tongue, showing naivety in such areas of intimacy.
The heavy taste of tobacco drilled into his mouth. Even breathing was starting to become difficult.
He could not back away either, and had no choice but to complete this loveless kiss with Gu Ze.