Translator: Helliot
Editor: P’Raikantopeni
–
A line segment is contained within two endpoints.
A half-line is supported by one.
But a straight line has no endpoint.
Like a straight line, his pain extends infinitely without an end in sight.
“You’re awake.”
The first thing Meng Fu saw when he opened his eyes was Gu Ze. Then, raising his wrist, he could see fresh bandages. It smelled faintly of ointment, and the wound seemed to have closed.
“Thank you.”
Gu Ze’s presence came as a surprise to him.
“What happened?” He asked.
In fact, he was merely trying to find something to talk about. He had already asked the maids what happened earlier. Meng Yi was making a fuss about wanting to go outside, but all of them lowered their heads when asked how the injury came about, all claiming ignorance.
“I just tripped and fell, that’s all,” Meng Fu gave a simple explanation.
Gu Ze did not push the topic. Since Meng Fu intended to leave the matter at that, then he would follow his wishes. Picking up an apple from the table, he began peeling apples for Meng Fu again.
He would never tell Meng Fu how anxious he had been when he heard that he had fainted. His hand shook as he stubbed out his cigarette on the ashtray, trying his best to act calm in front of Secretary Wang. He tried to delude himself, he just fainted, that’s all. It was nothing to make a fuss about.
However, his footsteps home were incomparably hurried.
When he saw the man lying in bed, face as pale as a sheet of paper, he called a doctor in a panic as his mind raced.
The apple peel broke off halfway through.
Falling abruptly to the ground.
Meng Fu faintly swept a glance at it before turning his gaze to outside the window. A bird flew past the window in a hurry, as if fleeing from an invisible mouth in the air, the biting cold of winter.
He began to feel envious, envious of the bird’s wings. Its heart and soul were free, yet his soul was weighed down by heavy shackles. He would be known as a murderer for as long as he lived.
He shut his eyes and opened them again. When he turned his head back, Gu Ze had picked up another apple and continued what he was doing. “Mr. Gu, what more do you want?”
What more do I have to go through before I can free myself from this pain that is increasing day by day?
“Don’t die.”
In the past, he would tell him again and again to end his own life, but now, “don’t die”, he told him over and over again.
“What else? What else must I do to redeem myself?”
If he could redeem himself, then his tainted soul would be washed clean. All he wished was to live a normal life under the warm sun. Maybe… Maybe he would still have the opportunity to attend university, to study law.
Knife pausing, the sudden jolt cut a slit into Gu Ze’s finger, and the apple was stained with his blood. The sudden rise of red brought upon dead silence.
He could not give him an answer.
Meng Fu pursed his lips. “I thought about it, Mr. Gu. I’m willing to go through anything, but not Xiao Yi. He can’t be locked up in this house forever. He’s just a child.”
“Very well. I’ll send someone to bring Meng Yi out tomorrow, but you must stay here.”
The news and rumors are still spreading like wildfire outside. Meng Fu, if you go out, then you’ll be overwhelmed. The camera flashes, questions, contempt, and the sympathetic gazes… All of that will drown you.
“Thank you.”
He responded. His eyes moved away from Gu Ze’s injured finger. He wanted to say more, but he chose to keep silent in the end.
–
Meng Yi was overjoyed that he could finally leave the house. Running over to Meng Fu’s room, he let himself inside and shook Meng Fu awake. “Wake up, lazy bug! Let’s go outside!”
Meng Fu opened his eyes drowsily and brushed Meng Yi’s hands away. “I’m not going out today, Xiao Yi. You should go out and play by yourself.” Then, he looked at Secretary Wang behind Meng Yi. “Sorry, I’ll leave him in your care.”
Secretary Wang responded politely, “Don’t worry, Mr. Meng. I’ll look after him well.” To be frank, Secretary Wang was very surprised when he received this task from Gu Ze. He never expected to be asked to take a mentally deficient child like Meng Yi out to play.
“No, Meng-Meng! Get up, we’re going out to play! I don’t wanna go out with this big brother, I wanna go out with Meng-Meng!” The idea of going out to play helped Meng Yi completely forget about all the unpleasant things that happened just the day before.
Smiling, but still weak, Meng Fu shook his head, but it only made him feel drowsier. “Be good, Xiao Yi. Big Brother will join you next time, all right?”
Pouting, he finally compromised. “All right.”
After sleeping through noon, Meng Fu finally felt a little better. Putting his slippers on, he went downstairs to pour himself a cup of water to ease his thirst. When he turned around, he realized that someone had been watching him.
Gu Ze.
Isn’t he supposed to be at work? Why is he sitting in the living room?
He stood there in a daze, and out of habit, he stopped moving completely as if he were punished to stand.
“Come here, Meng Fu.”
“Mr. Gu.”
He stood next to the sofa, his toes curling up.
“Sit here.” With his laptop on his knees, Gu Ze patted the empty spot on the couch next to him.
Hesitantly, Meng Fu walked to a seat far away from Gu Ze and sat down.
“Sit here.” Gu ze patted the empty seat again.
Only then did Meng Fu understand what he meant. Gu Ze was asking him to sit next to him. The distance was puzzling, feeling distant, strange, or even mixed in with something more.
He sat down next to him and stopped moving. By his ear was the sound of Gu Ze’s fingers tapping on the keyboard, most likely work, but he had no idea why he decided to bring his work home.
He stared at the cup of water he placed on the table, watching as it cooled down bit by bit until it stopped steaming at the top.
His mind was blank.
Blank was good. Blank meant he did not have to think about anything.
“Meng Fu, you like law, don’t you?” Gu Ze’s voice suddenly emerged. He no longer tapped on the keyboard, but his eyes were still fixed on the computer screen.
He was tempted to answer no, but he nodded in the end. “Yes.”
Gu Ze knew that he liked law. Countless times, he ridiculed him, even a murderer like him thought of becoming a lawyer? He jeered. He could not hide it.
“You’re free to look at any of the books in the study.”
“Huh?” He looked up, confused, but he quickly dropped his gaze again. “Thank you. I… Someone like me shouldn’t deserve to read those books…” But on second thought, Gu Ze should have been the one to say that to him, yet he said it himself. Should that not have been Gu Ze’s next sentence?
“Heh.” A self-deriding smile curved up his lips. Seemingly a question to Meng Fu, or more likely, a question to himself, Gu Ze asked, “What kind of person am I in your eyes?”
Just after he said that, the question seemed silly to him. Was Meng Fu not just repeating his own words to him? Was it not clear enough what sort of person he was to him?
“It’s my fault, so it serves me right.”
“Yes, it’s your fault.”
If you hadn’t run over He Manyu that day, if I did not fall in love with you, then the line would have been clear and distinct. We should have had nothing to do with each other.