RIAH – Chapter 34: Grand Diet Plan

Reborn into a Hamster for 233 Days

Translator: iamfeiii

Editor: Slumber

Quality Check: Rei

First Published on Chaleuria

Chapter Thirty-Four: Grand Diet Plan

Xiao Yu did not understand what this elite chairperson had up his sleeve, so he cautiously watched the human.

Yan Jin scooped Xiao Yu out from his little house early in the morning and forced him to do all sorts of health checkups for the whole evening. Then, as soon as they finally arrived home, he went crazy and made a mess out of his own table.


“Fishy, listen well to what I have to say next,” Yan Jin explained with a serious and solemn expression. “Your weight far exceeds the normal range. If you don’t lose some of it, you’re risking your own life.”

Xiao Yu coldly looked at Yan Jin as if he was looking at a retard.

He had never heard about a pet with its life at risk from being too overweight; didn’t dogs and cats look cuter if they were fatter?

Plus, he was not fat okay? Look at this slender waist. It was mellow and round, mellow, got it?

However, Yan Jin’s resolute attitude gave Xiao Yu no room to argue.

“So, to get your weight back into the fifty-gram range, we’re eliminating all your suppers and cutting your daily meals in half. In addition, you need to exercise for at least twenty minutes every day.”


Xiao Yu squealed in disbelief. Then used his wet, glistening little eyes to look at Yan Jin’s grim, handsome face – so pitifully adorable.

Yan Jin looked away without a word.

Okay, even the finishing blow didn’t work. Seems like Yan Jin was serious this time.

At lunchtime, Xiao Yu realized that his food dish was indeed smaller than before. With no other choice, he sulkily ate half and kept the other half in his cheek pouch.  

If there was a plan, there would be a solution. If Yan Jin insisted on cutting down his food intake, then he wouldn’t have any other options. Previously, his food dish would be filled once daily. Normally, he wouldn’t be able to finish it all. The next day, Yan Jin would throw away what was left in the dish and refill it with a new scoop of food.

Right now, Xiao Yu was planning to finishing everything. Then he would hide the extra portion in his cheek pouch. When nighttime came around, Yan Jin would realize that Xiao Yu’s food dish was empty, so he would refill it. If everything went according to plan, Xiao Yu should be able to accumulate quite a bit.

Never underestimate a hamster’s ability to store its provisions.

While Xiao Yu was gleefully plotting his strategy, he never expected that Yan Jin would have already seen through his little mind.

That morning, when Xiao Yu was doing his health checkup, Yan Jin did not dilly-dally – the chairman received some guidance from the veterinarian about taking care of a hamster. One of the tips was that hamsters had cheek pouches where they could store large amounts of food. Those pouches should be emptied out occasionally, otherwise it could lead to infections in some cases.

When Yan Jin heard this amazing fact, he immediately thought about how his intelligent Fishy would have such a strategy if he realized his food intake was less than before.

Thus, Chairman Yan silently watched Xiao Yu finish all his food. Half an hour later, Yan Jin reached out to tap the top of the cage twice.

Xiao Yu, who had not had his fill yet, turned around only to find Yan Jin outside his cage with his palm open.

That was kind of like their silent agreement — whenever Yan Jin wanted to bring him out of the cage, he would tap on the “door” and open his palm.

Xiao Yu did not suspect a thing. The hamster dashed his way down from the second level and placed his two front paws on the cage opening. With a kick from his back legs, the hamster leapt out of the cage and gracefully landed on Yan Jin’s palm.

Yan Jin’s gaze became complicated as he watched the adorable Xiao Yu lying on his palm with his outstretched paws.

Yan Jin gently flipped Xiao Yu over with his long fingers, and before the hamster could react to his sudden actions, the chairman swiftly kneaded Xiao Yu’s bulky cheeks.


As much as Xiao Yu wanted to scream, there was no way his voice could come out. Yan Jin did not back down – the fingers on his cheek pouches applied direct pressure and forced Xiao Yu to open his mouth.


A variety of nuts, dried fruits, and melon seeds spewed out of Xiao Yu’s mouth onto Yan Jin’s palm.

Yan Jin only gradually loosened his hands when he estimated that it was everything Xiao Yu had.  

A short moment later, Xiao Yu finally realized what had happened and he launched himself towards Yan Jin for a vicious bite on the thumb.

Yan Jin did not move and allowed Xiao Yu to bite him. Instead, he used his other hand to continuously smooth the bristling fur on Xiao Yu’s back.

Perhaps it was Yan Jin’s comforting that worked, or maybe it was the shock from the iron taste that filled his mouth, but Xiao Yu gradually calmed down.

He released his mouth sorrowfully. Even the fur sticking out in anger started to soften.

Two drops of scarlet red liquid glided off Yan Jin’s thumb and fell onto the floor.

“Squeak…” Xiao Yu stared straight at those two lines of blood as he did not dare to look up at Yan Jin’s face.

Even if he did occasionally bite Yan Jin in the past, this was the first time that he had hurt Yan Jin.

Xiao Yu was extremely upset – he knew that he shouldn’t have bitten Yan Jin, but at the same time, he did not think that he was in the wrong.

The more regretful he was for his actions, the more annoyed he got at Yan Jin for pinching his face for no reason.

His cheeks still felt weird from the stretching, but it was not painful.

“Fishy, never keep food inside your cheek pouch, understand?” Yan Jin acted as if he did not notice that he was hurt as he continued: “The weather’s getting warmer, and you might get an infection.”

Xiao Yu squeaked in dissatisfaction.

“Sque–” If you hadn’t lessened my portion, I wouldn’t have hidden them in my cheek pouch!

Yan Jin could hear how wronged his hamster sounded from his out of tune squeaks.

There was no other choice but for Yan Jin to patiently explain things to his hamster like he was coaxing a child: “You’re too heavy, and obesity leads to high cholesterol. In today’s checkup, other areas  were barely normal, but your weight is seriously too high. In turn, that led to an increase in your blood sugar and lipid levels. The vet mentioned that if it goes higher, it would be considered a case of high cholesterol.”

Yan Jin wasn’t sure why he had to explain so much to a hamster. Perhaps it was because his instincts told him that Fishy was different from other hamsters and would be able to understand his words.

After the explanation, Xiao Yu’s anger deflated like a popped balloon.

He pitifully stared at Yan Jin as he weakly squeaked and stretched his tongue out to lick the chairman’s injured thumb. Unexpectedly, Yan Jin picked him up again.

“Don’t lick it. Did you forget how uncomfortable you felt when you ate the wrong things and had diarrhea?”

Xiao Yu was picked up by his neck and then placed onto the table. However, he refused to shift his gaze away from Yan Jin’s injured thumb.

Yan Jin used his other hand to rub Xiao Yu’s little head as he comforted him. With an indifferent tone, he said, “It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt. It’ll be fine with a bandage. I had my vaccinations done three months ago when the cat scratched me – It’s still within the effective time period.”

Xiao Yu did not know why, but he did not feel comforted at all; in fact, he felt even more guilty.

The dejected little hamster looked surprisingly adorable – Yan Jin picked up his phone and snapped a few pictures with the caption: “I accidentally bit my owner. Upset.jpg” and sent it to his social media account. Of course, it received a wave of likes for it.

Yan Jin had side accounts on both his QQ and WeChat apps. Aside from his usual gang of close friends, the other friends were people whom he had met by chance and they shared the same interests. A majority of them did not know his identity. They thought that he was just an average small animal lover judging from all the pet pictures made into memes that he had uploaded.

Yan Jin’s WeChat’s ID was originally [Fuzzylover]. Now, it had been changed to [Grezzylover]. He even changed his QQ ID, which was why everyone thought that the person behind the account must have been a voluntary pet slave.

Compared to Yan Jin’s main account, where he had to watch every word that he drafted, this side account was filled with his true emotions, and he usually wouldn’t care about the content that he uploaded. That was why he immediately realized that he had made a big mistake after he posted that photo – he had completely forgotten an extremely troublesome person behind that screen.

How troublesome? In the span of time he spent searching for a bandage, he had missed five phone calls.

Yan Jin spent five seconds contemplating whether to answer the call or to block that person for good. In the end, he gave up and pressed the answer button.


“Hello my ass, why didn’t you call me when you were bitten? You have time to upload the photo to your social media account, but no time to give me a call? I have to keep my temper in check too, okay?”

“Didn’t you have to do a surgery today?”

“There is one, later. Why are you asking that? Are you trying to divert the topic?”

“…… Such a pity.”

Others might not understand what that questionable sentence meant, but who was Chu Ge? He was that fellow who got duped by Yan Jin over twenty years. Yan Jin’s sentence instantly made him clench his teeth in frustration.

That asshole Yan Jin, he thinks that it’s a pity that he did not delete that post in time.

“I’ll come over right away. You’ll deal with it for the time being. First – “

“I’ll wait for you.” Yan Jin immediately hung up.

Chu Ge was not usually that hypocritical, but when it involved the treatment of wounds, he would turn into a maniac and nag nonstop for twenty minutes. Yan Jin could guarantee that if he had not ended that call, he would have been instructed to boil a towel for disinfection purposes.  

At that time, the roads weren’t as busy, so Chu Ge arrived promptly.

After the doctor dealt with Yan Jin’s wound, Chu Ge scooped Xiao Yu up in his hands as he persuaded in a patient manner: “Fishy, listen well. That fellow’s hand is worth over a million dollars. Do not ever bite them again, understand?”

Xiao Yu nodded his head guiltily, but Chu Ge was distracted and did not notice his response at all.

“If you’re gonna bite, aim for that face and bite it, disfigure him. That way, we’ll see if he dares to fool around and attract unwanted attention.”

Xiao Yu was a bit puzzled – why did that sound weird?

“Had your fun? Don’t teach my Fishy your nonsense.” Yan Jin snatched Xiao Yu back, smoothed those messy furs and then placed the hamster onto the side of the running wheel that was on the coffee table.

“Go on, have a little run.”

Xiao Yu obediently listened to the orders and began running on the wheel. The living room was momentarily filled with buzzing sounds from the running wheel.

Chu Ge snidely commented from the sidelines, “It actually understood. You’re one hell of a guy. I’ve heard of trained dogs, but I have never heard that hamsters could be trained as well.”

“Fishy is intelligent. Don’t misguide him.”

“Hey! Since when did you see me misguiding him? After all, I’m Fishy’s god-father okay?” Chu Ge retorted with dissatisfaction: “I even donated his iPad.”

“Did I not give you money?” Yan Jin answered coldly.

Chu Ge immediately went silent.

Xiao Yu obediently ran on the running wheel, completely ignoring the quarreling adults.

A moment later, Chu Ge opened his mouth again: “That being said, don’t you have anything to say to me?”

Yan Jin snorted coldly: “Like how my fiancée was your ex-girlfriend?”

Xiao Yu’s limbs went soft and he almost fell off the running wheel. Yan Jin, who was paying attention the entire time immediately scooped the hamster into his hands and smoothed his fur out: “Don’t be afraid. It was the first time you ran. You’ll get used to it with more practice.”

“Oh, so you were aware and still –“ Chu Ge was still wearing his cold expression as he continued, “Don’t you know that you should not covet your friend’s wife?”

Translator’s Note:

Yan Jin’s WeChat ID: 毛绒绒爱好者 (Fuzzy Lover) to 灰绒绒爱好者 (Grey-fuzzy Lover?). So, combining those elements together, his new ID shall be [Grezzylover] (sounds like ‘crazy lover’. In fact, that makes sense xD #thingsthattranslatorsdo #namingheadache)

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