The Complete Guide to the Use and Care of a Personal Assistant
First Published on Chaleuria
“You bastard!” Ling Miao grabbed a plastic bottle lying next to his hand and threw it at Su Yuyang, but the bottle hit the door.
“If there’s a mark on the door, your pay’s getting docked!” Su Yuyang’s emotionless voice sounded.
“If I can’t get my document back, you drink glucose tomorrow!” Ling Miao replied, unwilling to show weakness.
Staring at the empty document, Ling Miao grew angrier the more he thought about it. Suddenly he smiled slyly, and quietly opened Su Yuyang’s author’s dashboard. He glanced at today’s scheduled upload, then let out a cold ‘hmph’ and deleted it.
“Hm, you’ve never failed to update, right? Now I’ve deleted your new chapter. We’ll see if you update!”
Having deleted today’s scheduled update, Ling Miao felt refreshed. He glanced at Su Yuyang’s tightly closed room door, and he wore a huge smile as he packed up his things and prepared to flee the scene.
Su Yuyang was in his room with a headache.
He was pretty mad that Ling Miao hadn’t followed his instructions, but not to the point where he would delete Ling Miao’s drafts in order to vent his frustration. He had only moved the draft into a USB drive, and when Ling Miao admitted he was wrong, Su Yuyang would, of course, return the draft to Ling Miao. But Ling Miao was so stubborn—not only did he not admit his wrongs, he probably didn’t even know what he’d done wrong.
As for docking Ling Miao’s pay, Su Yuyang had been making an empty threat. He didn’t think of himself as a petty person, but Ling Miao…
Ah, why was it Ling Miao again?
Su Yuyang rubbed his temples. For the past few days, his emotions had been led around by Ling Miao, and he had almost forgotten how the word ‘calm’ was spelled.
Anyone familiar with Su Yuyang knew that Su Yuyang seemed to have been born with no temper. He was indifferent towards everything, and the only things he cared about were novels.
Su Yuyang had dated many people, but, without exception, they all split up within several months. In addition, it was always the other party who initiated the breakup. The reasons were about the same: You’re better off marrying your novels instead.
As a result, Su Yuyang had thought for a while about finding a writer to marry. If they both had the same interests, they would understand each other.
When Su Yuyang mentioned this to Mu Yu, the latter said only one thing: “Who’s caught your eye? I’ll play matchmaker.”
Since Su Yuyang’s previous relationship ended, he had not had feelings for anyone. So, even though he had made a decision in his heart, he had not found the person who made him want to settle down, want to have a normal domestic life.
Su Yuyang’s head began to hurt from so many thoughts. He exhaled, clicked open his word document, and began to write.
Once Su Yuyang started writing, he found it very hard to stop. He was like the cultivators in martial arts novels. Only when his stomach began to protest did he realize it was dinnertime. Su Yuyang stood up and moved his stiff limbs, then opened the door. “Xiao…” Seeing the empty living room, Su Yuyang was stunned. He walked into the kitchen to look— again, there was no one there. He looked again and saw that Ling Miao’s things had all been packed up and Ling Miao had left.
“He left?” Su Yuyang tugged at his hair, very frustrated. He called Ling Miao, but the latter hung up on him. He tried over ten more times with the same result.
Ling Miao had been thoroughly frustrated by Su Yuyang, and couldn’t stop himself from sending a text: Su Yuyang, I can’t please you. You’d better find someone else!
Su Yuyang replied: I’m hungry.
Ling Miao: Not my concern whether you’re hungry or not. If you want food go get it from the fridge.
Su Yuyang: I’m hungry.
Ling Miao: Even if you starve to death it’s none of my business.
Su Yuyang: Xiao Miao, I’m hungry.
“Fuck!” Ling Miao yelled, and stuck his chopsticks back in the bowl of instant noodles. “Is Su Yuyang acting cute with me?!”
Ji Linxi lowered his head and looked at the text history, and laughed as he said: “Ah, the Great Writer actually seems pretty adorable.”
“A pity no one adores him!”
“Who says no one adores him? Aren’t you his die-hard fan?”
Having been called out by Ji Linxi again, Ling Miao wasn’t in the mood to play along. He wolfed down the noodles, wiped his mouth, and rushed out of the room.
“Where’re you going?”
“He has low blood sugar and doesn’t know how to cook. I’m worried that if he doesn’t eat dinner he’ll get sick.” Ling Miao’s voice got quieter and quieter, and when Ji Linxi walked into the living room he saw Ling Miao hurrying out the door.
“Stubborn words but a soft heart. Also, if you don’t go to make food, does he not know how to get takeout?” Ji Linxi took another potshot at Ling Miao. “But… he’s so worried about Su Yuyang. It’s not normal.”
Ji Linxi had thought this far, but he had no intention of investigating any further. He had his own affairs to worry about and didn’t have the time or the mood to interfere in Ling Miao’s affairs.
When Ling Miao opened Su Yuyang’s door, he immediately smelled something burning. He looked up and saw that the kitchen was spouting black smoke.
Cough cough. Ling Miao could not hold back his coughs. Su Yuyang heard the coughing and surprised joy appeared in his eyes, but he quickly recovered his calm.
Ling Miao walked into the kitchen holding his nose. He saw a blackened object at the bottom of a pot and lectured Su Yuyang: “Are you stupid? Even if you can’t use the stove, can’t you use the microwave?”
“You’re back?” Su Yuyang said coldly, like he was very unhappy to see Ling Miao appear in front of him.
Ling Miao glared at Su Yuyang, then took the pot from Su Yuyang’s hands and said nastily, “I was worried that somebody had fainted in his own house. Since that somebody doesn’t want me here, I’ll leave.”