The Complete Guide to the Use and Care of a Personal Assistant
First Published on Chaleuria
Ling Miao tipped the burned food in the pot into the trash, then filled the pot with cold water and put it back on the stove. “I hope this can be washed clean.”
Having said his piece Ling Miao turned to leave, but Su Yuyang stepped in front of Ling Miao and barricaded his way: “Xiao Miao, I’m hungry.”
Hearing Su Yuyang’s wheedling words, Ling Miao was extremely vexed.
“Stop being disgusting.” Ling Miao batted away Su Yuyang’s hand, then returned to the kitchen and made a bowl of noodles for Su Yuyang.
Su Yuyang ate the noodles in silence, one strand at a time. Ling Miao watched him from the side and very much wished to open a hole in Su Yuyang’s head and pour the noodles in.
Su Yuyang ate slowly and daintily. Ling Miao sat to one side and prepared to read a novel, but then noticed that a certain Successful Author had not uploaded a new chapter. He muttered to himself under his breath.
“What’s wrong?” Su Yuyang asked.
“Nothing.” Ling Miao gave off an air of “I don’t want to deal with you.”
This was a thorny situation so Su Yuyang promptly changed the subject: “Xiao Miao, these noodles you made are good.”
“The noodles I made…” Something occurred to Ling Miao, and he interrogated Su Yuyang: “Aren’t you scared of the stove? What made you try to cook for yourself today?”
“I…” Su Yuyang was at a loss for words.
Ling Miao grit his teeth and a look of realization dawned on his face. He pulled the bowl from in front of Su Yuyang and made a show of dumping it into the trash. “Su Yuyang, you can’t even go a day without making things difficult for me, right? Since our personalities are so incompatible, I think it’s best I resign.”
Su Yuyang hurriedly reached for the noodles, and as he put them back on the table, Ling Miao took the opportunity to walk to the door.
Hearing Su Yuyang’s shout, Ling Miao stopped walking but did not turn back. He said coldly, “Shu Yang, rest assured. I won’t divulge any information about you.”
Su Yuyang explained, “It’s true I don’t like to use the stove. Today I was so hungry that I plucked up the courage to try, and you saw the result. I burned everything.”
Su Yuyang’s thoughts had gone something like this: If Ling Miao can control fire like it’s in the palm of his hand, there’s no reason I can’t, right?
The facts of the matter indicated that, indeed, he could not.
“Why not order takeout?” Ling Miao felt like an over-inflated balloon. If Su Yuyang said one more word, he would explode with a loud ‘pop’.
“Ah, I got used to your cooking and can’t stomach takeout any more. Besides, I’ve eaten takeout for three years. If I eat any more I’ll throw up.” Su Yuyang chewed his noodles and spoke humbly.
“Eat quickly. I still have to wash the bowls.” Ling Miao rolled his eyes at Su Yuyang and sat on the sofa to read his novel.
Su Yuyang ate the noodles at the slowest possible rate. Ling Miao periodically looked at Su Yuyang’s bowl and noticed that the soup was almost gone, but the noodles were still all there.
Ling Miao guessed that Su Yuyang was intentionally delaying him. He let out a ‘hmph’ and said nothing more.
Ling Miao clicked into Su Yuyang’s novel out of habit and saw that there had been no update today. He was about to question Su Yuyang when he remembered that he had deleted the update!
“Su Yuyang!” Ling Miao suddenly shouted. Su Yuyang dropped his chopsticks on the ground in shock.
Su Yuyang raised his head to look at Ling Miao who was pacing back and forth in a panic, regret and worry in his eyes. Su Yuyang’s forehead furrowed unconsciously. He stood up, caught ahold of Ling Miao’s shoulders and asked, “What happened?”
Su Yuyang’s steady voice soothed Ling Miao’s panic. Looking into Su Yuyang’s kind eyes, Ling Miao felt despicable. Already thinking that Su Yuyang would fire him, Ling Miao stammered, “I deleted today’s upload.”
“Oh, that’s all right.” Su Yuyang’s tone indicated indifference. But Ling Miao understood it to be something else: Heavens, this is the calm before the storm!
Ling Miao watched Su Yuyang eating the noodles and hoped he would eat slower, and even slower. In the best-case scenario, Su Yuyang would never finish eating!
“I’m done.” Su Yuyang pushed the bowl toward Ling Miao. “Wash up, then come into the study.”
Su Yuyang threw out these words then returned to the study. Ling Miao’s entire body was frozen. Aside from his eyeballs, no part of his body could move.
“Ling Miao, come in!” Su Yuyang ordered. Ling Miao scuttled over like a wind-up toy. As he opened the door, he paused again: This is Su Yuyang’s study. Su Yuyang likes men. I am a man. Does he want to, to me…
At some point Su Yuyang had opened the door and was enraged to see Ling Miao flustered. Su Yuyang cuffed Ling Miao around the head and yelled, “What the hell are you daydreaming about? Quickly come and edit and publish!”
Ling Miao did his editing online, so he had not saved a copy of the edited draft.
Midnight was approaching and twenty thousand words was a lot of editing to do. Looking at the document before him, Ling Miao was hit by the impulse to cut his own hands off, but he was already suffering the punishment for his rashness. This time, he thought, he had better just edit properly.
Ling Miao finished the first round of editing and Su Yuyang did the second round before uploading it. Between the two of them, the twenty thousand words were uploaded by midnight.
Only when the last paragraph had finished uploading did Su Yuyang’s tightly wound heart begin to relax.
“Ling Miao…” Su Yuyang was about to tell Ling Miao to go home, but Ling Miao had already lain down on the bed and fallen asleep.
Translator note: Hello, thank you for reading our chapter! How are we doing, is the quality of translation and editing OK, or do you think we need more QC? Tell us in the comments 🙂