The Complete Guide to the Use and Care of a Personal Assistant
First Published on Chaleuria
The channel was silent. Ling Miao looked uneasily at Su Yuyang, who watched him with a faint smile. The two continued looking at each other as if they’d already forgotten they were conducting an interview. Tofu was keeping track of the time, and after three minutes of neither Su Yuyang nor Ling Miao reacting, he called out worriedly, “Great Shu?”
Ling Miao’s heart jumped. He came back to himself and glared at Su Yuyang, seemingly asking, “Fuck me, what are you playing at? Answer the question!”
Su Yuyang looked at Ling Miao’s pouting lips and felt mischievous. He caught hold of the back of Ling Miao’s head and pressed his lips close.
A fractured whimper slipped from Ling Miao’s lips. Su Yuyang pressed close to Ling Miao’s ear and laughed softly, “Hey, be reserved.”
“It’s you who has to be reserved!” 15,000 ‘fuck you’ horses thundered across Ling Miao’s heart.
Su Yuyang gave a dry cough, dragging Ling Miao’s attention back to the topic at hand. He said apologetically, “I’m a little nervous and just drank a glass of water. As for why I accepted this interview, it’s in order to thank my fans, and also because it was Xiao Miao who invited me.”
“So, Great Shu, if anyone else had extended the invitation, you wouldn’t have agreed?” Tofu asked with interest.
Su Yuyang laughed and said, “It’s not that I wouldn’t agree. All of you are here because you like my works, after all. Of course I must integrate myself with you so that you will like my works even more. An interview is one of the ways to get to know me, so if I have free time, I can do it.”
“Then why did you maintain your secrecy before?” Ling Miao asked.
Su Yuyang said, “Uh…” a few times, then said thoughtfully, “I’m gay. Although many people online are accepting of that, most people are still against it. I was worried that the fact that I like men would bring me trouble. But after I started a relationship with Xiao Miao, I stopped worrying as much. By announcing my relationship with him, I’m telling everyone that I now have a lover, and also warning anyone who looks down on Xiao Miao that this person is mine.”
“Feels like an episode of ‘The Tyrant CEO Has Fallen for Me,’” Tofu said, holding back a laugh.
Ling Miao exhaled, speechless. He said coolly, “Can we continue with the interview?”
“Keep going, keep going.”
Ling Miao asked the third question.
The interview continued smoothly, answer after question. Tofu occasionally interrupted with humorous interjections.
“Ah… Great Shu, this is a fun question. Someone asks—if he sends us a condom-shaped cake, will you accept it?” Ling Miao quickly read the question. Su Yuyang looked at Ling Miao, surprised that he’d read it aloud after all.
Ling Miao glanced at Su Yuyang, satisfaction written over his face. Su Yuyang laughed. “If he sends it, I’ll accept it.”
“You’re not worried that your address will be revealed?” Ling Miao followed up.
Su Yuyang was about to answer when his phone rang.
“My mom called,” Su Yuyang explained.
“Hey, mom,” Su Yuyang greeted affably.
On the other end, Su Yuyang’s mom said hopefully, “When are you bringing Xiao Miao back to see me?”
Su Yuyang asked in shock, “How do you know I’m in a relationship with Xiao Miao?”
Su Yuyang’s mom huffed. She said reproachfully, “How do I know? I’m on your YY channel listening to your interview! You’ve been with Xiao Miao for some time, and you still haven’t come back! Or did you not have plans to come back in the first place?”
“Mom, it’s really not that I don’t want to go back. Xiao Miao and I just got into a relationship. I want to stabilize it before I go back with him,” Su Yuyang grumbled, his tone aggrieved.
Su Yuyang’s mom kept nagging: “No! Bring him back tomorrow!”
“Don’t look for excuses! If you’re not here tomorrow, the day after that I’ll be at your door!”
Su Yuyang was well aware what his mother was like. If she said she’d be at his door the day after tomorrow, she would definitely be there. Getting from his old place to here required taking an overnight train, and Su Yuyang didn’t want to wear his mother out so he nodded and responded: “As for going back, I have to discuss it with Ling Miao.”
“I’ll get the tickets at once.”
“I’ll definitely go back this month!” Faced with his mother’s resolution, Su Yuyang had no recourse but to agree.
“As long as you promise. Mm, quick, go back to the interview. It’s not good to keep people waiting,” Su Yuyang’s mom said joyfully.
Su Yuyang’s brain ground to a halt. Something his mother had previously said now surfaced in his mind: I’m on your YY channel listening to your interview!
Su Yuyang was curious. How did his mother find out he was doing this interview?
“Xiao Yu?” Su Yuyang’s mom called softly. “Xiao Yu, I’m following your blog. Of course I know you’re doing the interview.”
“My microblog?” Su Yuyang’s jaw was almost on the floor. Since when does Mom know how to use a microblog?
“The kids in the chat are getting impatient. We’ll talk when you come back.” Su Yuyang’s mom hung up.
Su Yuyang sat down beside Ling Miao and said awkwardly, “Mom asked me to bring you back. She said this month. If we don’t visit within this month, I guarantee she’ll show up here on the first day of next month.” Su Yuyang pointed at the door.
“Ah?” Ling Miao asked in surprise. “This is too quick, isn’t it?”
Su Yuyang sighed helplessly, then asked with feeling, “So you agree?”
“Agree!” Tofu’s joyful voice came.
Both Su Yuyang and Ling Miao froze.
Su Yuyang gave a meaningful smile as he gazed at Ling Miao’s frustrated expression. Ling Miao really wanted to find a crack in the ground and disappear into it. Su Yuyang consoled: “It’s fine that they heard it…”
“It’s not you who showed your emotions, so you don’t care?” Ling Miao shut off the mic and snapped.
Su Yuyang turned the mic back on and said, “Sorry to have kept you waiting. Let’s end the interview here. Xiao Miao’s getting shy.” Su Yuyang had just finished speaking but immediately there were giggles in the channel, and the text channel kept updating with well-wishes.
“Actually, the consequences of coming of the closet weren’t as bad as you thought.” Ling Miao mischievously patted Su Yuyang’s face.
Su Yuyang wrapped an arm around Ling Miao and pulled him over, pressing his head into his shoulder. He stroked Ling Miao’s back: “Xiao Miao, actually, I saw someone curse us.”
“Is there? You must have seen wrongly.”
Su Yuyang didn’t continue. The surroundings went silent. Ling Miao raised his head and met Su Yuyang’s eyes, which were filled with a complicated emotion. He said haltingly, “Hey, you’re really taking me home?”
“I have to go back no matter what.” Su Yuyang didn’t make a decision for the both of them.
Su Yuyang and Ling Miao’s relationship had progressed too quickly. It wasn’t as if they were registering their marriage the minute after they met, but Su Yuyang still wasn’t fully sure of Ling Miao’s feelings for him. Of course, Su Yuyang didn’t mention his worries. He was still afraid.
“Take me.” Ling Miao laughed. His radiant smile was like the stars in the night sky: brilliant but distant. Su Yuyang felt that the sight before his eyes wasn’t real.
“Great. I’ll buy tickets tomorrow.” Su Yuyang caressed Ling Miao’s face. Ling Miao placed his hand over Su Yuyang’s and held it tightly.