The Complete Guide to the Use and Care of a Personal Assistant
First Published on Chaleuria
Chapter One Hundred and Nineteen
A chill of unknown origin invaded Su Yuyang’s body. Su Yuyang curled up and wrapped the blanket tightly around himself, but the chill still enveloped him, as inescapable as if it were his own skin. Su Yuyang felt that he needed to add another blanket, but when he opened his eyes, the sight he saw was blinding.
“It’s morning.” Su Yuyang rubbed his bleary eyes.
“Xiao Miao?” Su Yuyang reached for Ling Miao but couldn’t find a trace of him on the bed. He touched the spot where Ling Miao had slept the previous night and it was cold—Ling Miao had been gone for a long time.
“Xiao Miao?” Su Yuyang called loudly but didn’t get a response. He hurriedly got out of bed and rushed out of the room looking for Ling Miao. There wasn’t any sign of Ling Miao in the living room or the kitchen or the bathroom… finally, Su Yuyang’s gaze fell on Yan Li’s room door.
The door was shut. Su Yuyang crept over, not realizing he was shivering. He turned the doorknob but it stuck halfway. The door was locked.
“Xiao Miao, are you in there?” Su Yuyang pounded on the door. He believed that with this commotion, even if Ling Miao was asleep, he’d wake up from the disturbance. But Su Yuyang’s hopes were futile—Ling Miao didn’t hear his shouts.
“The key!” Su Yuyang murmured and swiftly returned to the room to look for the key. He vaguely remembered that the keys had been beside his laptop, but when he went to get it, he didn’t see it.
“Where did the key go?” Immense fear engulfed Su Yuyang and he stumbled out of the bedroom. Suddenly something gleamed on the ottoman. Su Yuyang rushed up to it and immediately recognized the thing that had shone: his keys!
He opened the room door and saw wads of paper all over the floor.
He picked one up at random and unfolded it. He felt as if he had been struck by thunder.
The writing on the paper had been scribbled over, but the contents could still be made out. On the paper was written: Yu, I left. Sorry…
Su Yuyang felt his hands tremble. He picked up another wad of paper and couldn’t unfold it.
“Feng Ji… Feng Ji…” Su Yuyang repeated Feng Ji’s name. He needed someone to help him and Feng Ji was the first person he thought of.
When Feng Ji got Su Yuyang’s call, he could tell the situation wasn’t good. He sent a text to his employees giving them the day off, then took An Yan to Su Yuyang’s house.
“Fuck it, why did he get an apartment on the tenth floor? There isn’t even an elevator.” Feng Ji stood in the doorway out of breath, complaining about Su Yuyang’s life choices again before he went in. He swore that when he bought a place he’d definitely get one on the second floor.
He dug out his key, opened the door, and fell weakly into the house. “Su… Su Yuyang.” Feng Ji called Su Yuyang’s name with difficulty, but Su Yuyang didn’t give any reaction.
Fuck it. I rushed over so quickly. Surely nothing has happened to him? Feng Ji didn’t bother changing his shoes and rushed straight to Su Yuyang’s room, but he didn’t see anyone.
As Feng Ji was hesitating, Su Yuyang appeared.
Su Yuyang’s eyes were red and tears shone in his eyes. In his hand was a sheet of paper. He repeated: “He’s gone… he’s gone…”
Feng Ji felt that the Su Yuyang before him was no more than a sack of skin. He said worriedly, “Yuyang, what happened?”
Su Yuyang’s lips trembled and he looked tearfully at Feng Ji. He opened his mouth but no sound came out. Feng Ji snatched the paper from his hands and began perusing it.
Su Yuyang, I’m very scared right now. I’m scared that you’ll suddenly wake up and see me writing this letter.
If you’re reading this letter, then you can’t see me.
Though it hasn’t been long since I woke up in the hospital, I’ve thought about many things. Honestly, I’m very tired. I’m very tired of being with you. It’s emotionally exhausting.
Tang Xuan’s death made me feel very guilty. Maybe me saying this will make you want to punch me, but I’m a very fragile person. Seeing Tang Xuan die in front of me—maybe even because of my words—I feel that I’m a murderer.
I can’t face you. I can’t face anyone.
Su Yuyang, I’m very tired. I want to find somewhere I can be quiet for a while.
A place without you where I can calm down and think some things over.
No need to worry. I won’t kill myself.
If you wait for me to come back, I’ll take you to see my parents. If you can’t wait any more, then find someone and have a good life.
Yu, I love you.
The writing on the paper was messy, and the words had been written and scribbled over many times. Each of Ling Miao’s pen-strokes was forceful and the paper was torn in many places. Clearly, Ling Miao’s hands had been trembling as he wrote.
“Yuyang…” Feng Ji wasn’t sure how to console Su Yuyang. He sighed softly and fell silent.
An Yan arrived at the doorway and immediately felt the tension. He quietly walked over to Feng Ji’s side and pointed at Su Yuyang, who was sitting on the sofa in a daze. Feng Ji pulled An Yan onto the balcony and sighed, “Ling Miao’s gone and he took Su Yuyang’s soul with him.”
“Why did Ling Miao go?” An Yan asked, not understanding. “Doesn’t he have feelings for Su Yuyang? Why did he make Su Yuyang this sad?”
“He probably doesn’t want Su Yuyang to be even more sad. Or maybe Ling Miao is a selfish person. For his own peace of mind, he injures Su Yuyang all over,” Feng Ji said helplessly. “Ling Miao really is foolish. This isn’t his fault at all. Why does he want to take it all on himself?”
An Yan shook his head in opposition. He refuted, “If Ling Miao’s love for Su Yuyang is as deep as Su Yuyang’s love for him, then now that he’s separated from Su Yuyang, he must be having a bad time too. And you said that Ling Miao left with guilt in his heart, so he must be hurting worse than Su Yuyang.”
“But he…” Feng Ji wasn’t sure how to explain to An Yan. He passed Ling Miao’s letter to An Yan and let An Yan find the answer for himself.
An Yan took in the letter’s contents with a glance. After reading Ling Miao’s letter, he sank into silence. Feng Ji touched An Yan’s head and smiled. “Is his guilt justified?”
“It might not be guilt,” An Yan said thoughtfully. “Although I didn’t see Tang Xuan kill himself, but from what I know of the situation, Ling Miao might have had a fright. Only he doesn’t know it’s fear. And then Tang Xuan’s words before he killed himself also had an influence. It subliminally tells Ling Miao to feel guilt, so he feels guilt.”
Feng Ji looked at An Yan in astonishment. He said in pleased surprise, “I didn’t think your brain could be this useful.”
“Tcheh. You say it like I’m an idiot,” An Yan hummed.
“If I’d known, I would have asked you to counsel Ling Miao.” Feng Ji looked at his friend, who resembled a statue, and said. “How about… counseling Su Yuyang?”
“I’m not a psychiatrist,” An Yan said, but he still walked toward Su Yuyang.
It might have been An Yan’s great capability, or it might be that Su Yuyang had thought it through on his own, but half an hour later Feng Ji saw that Su Yuyang’s spirits seemed slightly better than before.
“I don’t know where Ling Miao has gone, but I’ll do everything I can to find him!” Su Yuyang swore.
Achoo! Ling Miao sneezed.
“Caught a cold?” The woman asked with a hint of reproach.
Ling Miao calmly shook his head, but his surface calm couldn’t conceal the panic in his heart.